It's been quite a few days since I last posted. That doesn't mean that nothing has been happening. But, I need to begin with a story.
Last evening, Robyn sang a remarkable solo at the 5:15 PM evening Mass at St. Francis of Assisi Parish in Sacramento. On Monday and Friday last week, prior to the day of her solo during her volunteer shifts at Clara's House free clinic, Robyn shared her nervousness about preparing for the solo on the then upcoming Saturday. She also expressed her excitement about her younger son's, Chris', wedding on the following weekend. She and her older son, Anthony, planned to drive from Sacramento on next Thursday, September 12th, to Eureka -- allowing extra days before the wedding in case Anthony's tux needed alterations. The car rental was set. The hotel accommodations had been made. The dog sitting arrangements had been made for her two canine family members. Robyn's outfit for the wedding promised to be exquisite. Anthony, who visited at Clara's House during his mom's Monday volunteer shift, shared her excitement. The only pall cast over the excitement, a portent, was that Robyn's older dog, Elko, passed away, without warning, quietly in his sleep on Wednesday evening.
So last night, Saturday evening, Robyn sang the solo responsorial psalm in her mellow alto voice set against the backdrop accompaniment of Vaughn's violin and Mike's piano, and we in the pews responded with the refrain. It was a Franciscan moment -- simple, melodic, interactively community-building, and one could imagine, the way Francis himself might have done it in our time and in our place. As Robyn walked back across the altar to her seat in the choir, Sister Kathy flashed her a thumbs up, and Robyn responded with a grin of satisfaction as well as of relief. Anthony, proud of his mom, videotaped the entire solo.
Then, as the choir stood for the next hymn, there was a commotion. Someone fell. As it turned out, Robyn collapsed as she stood to sing, pushing her life-long friend, Carol, in the process. The Mass stopped. Medical providers from the community responded. Sister Kathy and Pam, both nurse practitioners, assessed the situation. Pam started CPR. 911 was called, and the community present responded in stunned prayerful silence as we waited for the ambulance. Fr. Sebastian, presider for the evening, anointed her. Robyn, who was unconscious, was taken to Sutter General Hospital. Her son, Anthony, and Fr. Ken followed her to the hospital. After Mass ended, we heard that she was being transferred to Sutter Memorial to the cardiac care unit because she was still having a massive heart attack.
Sister Kathy, Sister Camille, and I arrived at Sutter Memorial just as the ambulance transporting Robyn from Sutter General left. We waited with Anthony, and family friends (Kate, Jillian, Carol -- St. Francis choir member and friend with Robyn since they were six years old, and Maria, Carol's daughter) the two hours while the catheterization process was being done. Sister Peggy joined us for a while. Younger son Chris, a CHP officer, arrived after a record-breaking 4-hour drive from Eureka. Dr. Roberts came into the room around 11:30 PM to tells us that the heart artery blockage seemed to respond to medication at first, opening the artery a bit, but then it closed again so that he had to insert a stent. He explained that normally he would also insert a balloon in the artery to help raise Robyn's blood pressure, but that he could not because a 6.5 cm long aneurysm was also discovered. The aneurysm and the possible effects of the oxygen starvation on Robyn's brain would be addressed at a later time, Dr. Roberts said, if Robyn could survive until the morning. But, he said, she was not very responsive. As the hours of Saturday night waned into the waxing morning hours of Sunday, the number of intravenous medications to help raise blood pressure increased from three to five while Robyn's blood pressure continued to drop to dangerously low levels. Around 5:00 AM, the CCU nurses called the ER doctor. He arrived, and then left around 5:25 AM, "calling the time" as they name a passing for the medical records. Then, the CCU nurse invited us all, all at once -- lifting the limit of two only at a time, into Robyn's room to say our good-byes. Robyn's blood pressure never had increased. Her heart rate never responded. She did not greet the morning. In weariness and in grief, we all left the hospital. Though the hospital nurses had to wait for the coroner to officially declare Robyn's death later that morning, we knew she would not see this morning's sunrise.
So yesterday's sequence of events for me until now, began on early Saturday afternoon, with an Irish wake for Sister Sheila Walsh, SSS, who founded Jericho (California's first lobbying effort for the voiceless and vulnerable in California), at De Vere's Irish Pub on L Street. They continued with a home visit to Sam, who claims to be the longest continuous parishioner of St. Francis Parish with 70+ years of membership, and who had fallen a week ago and could not leave his house, Saturday vigil Mass, attendance at the parish Peace Prayer Vigil after Mass, and then the very, very sad night at Sutter Memorial Hospital. They ended this morning with a 33rd birthday breakfast brunch for my younger nephew, Daniel. It has been an unusually jam packed 24 hours, bookended by celebrations of death and life. Tomorrow, I leave for a week long retreat at Redwoods Monastery in Whitethorne, CA, which is a 7-8 hour drive away from home. There is much upon which to reflect, away from the hustle and bustle after having been immersed in it for a few days. Life and death. Activity and passivity. After the fashion of Francis, I'm taking some hermitage time after a while of "preaching time."
